The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
