white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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