Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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