his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
