I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
