am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize