I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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