No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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