She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
