During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
