dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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