sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
