I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
