I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Randomize
