that's an acceptable place to lick
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
