For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
