So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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