Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
