She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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