I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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