Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
