Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
