no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
