Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
