So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
