Well apparently he's into motor boating.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
