real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
