Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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