would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
