I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize