what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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