Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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