check it out our google latitudes are spooning
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
