he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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