i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
