Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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