How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
