I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Farmville is her only friend.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
