Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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