Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
