I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
