Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i think i just lost a toe
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
