fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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