no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Come see our sink grown plant.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
