rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
