Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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