did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
