your thong is hanging out like whoa
Where did you get a picture of my penis
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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