wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
