We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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