the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So here I am, sexting at work.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
