Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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