I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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