If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
