Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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