i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
