Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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